It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
