We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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