watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
