i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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