and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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