Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
