Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
