I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
