Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
