Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
