he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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