Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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