her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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