Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Everything about him screamed your future.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
