You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
