you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Come see our sink grown plant.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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