i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
