but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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