So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
