then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
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I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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