just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
