ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
