I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
MIDGETS
????
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
