i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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