I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
