Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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