What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
