White coat. Heels.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
