i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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