i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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