Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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