Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
