How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
