ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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