found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
