Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
