so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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