Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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