with your own penis?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
