Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I CAN MOONWALK!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
