it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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