I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
