First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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