You can't motorboat a personality
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize