If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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