Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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