There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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