She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
