I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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