either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
