we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
