Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
