call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
