we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
