My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
