btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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