I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
