But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
