dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
