im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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