last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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