i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
